Saturday, May 15, 2010

Life in the rear-view

I keep having people bring up people (one person really) from my past. I feel weird about it because I'm constantly wanting to ask them to stop saying their name or bring them up. I feel like I'm always being tethered to a point that I can't really escape from. Yes, I know how you feel. Yes, I know you think they are being stupid. No, I don't want to know what was said.

It's like trying to drive by looking at the road in the rear-view mirror. You stay on the road only so long before you veer off or end up in oncoming traffic. I lived like that for too long. I feel like unplugging myself from everything and everyone that would tell me these things. That's not really the answer though. I just have to bear down and deal with it. Block it off.

I start online classes at Tech this week coming. Oh joy. It's a lot cheaper than FMU and I'm just trying to get caught up on my gen ed stuff that I'm still missing. I realize I'll be going to school almost three years, year-round. So much for breaks and vacations. It's like I tell my best gal Becca, "I'll rest when I'm dead." Two jobs and school and a boyfriend.

Most people would crack under my level of self imposed pressure. I just harden, like a diamond.

God, I have missed Daria. It's like my high school years and a bit of my college. Total bitter nostalgia. I'm still a cynic, but at least I have reasons to be so now.

No comments: